Occasionally, I'm asked how this pregnancy is different compared to my pregnancy with Daniel. So, I thought I would write this post for my future self. I'm sure some day I will want to look back (probably when I get pregnant with our third) and remind myself how I felt this time around. The short? Certain things are worse and certain things are better. 

Exhaustion

For one, I'm definitely no where near as tired as I was with Daniel. I remember feeling completely and utterly exhausted with Daniel. My body was SO NOT used to being pregnant and for the first trimester and part of the second, I had to take a nap on a regular basis, or I just couldn't seem to function. This time around I do take naps occasionally...but I don't NEED them like I did with Daniel. 

Morning Sickness

With Daniel I remember feeling nauseous and being able to eat to make it go away. I felt that for most of my first trimester, but unfortunately it wasn't limited to just the morning. It would happen all day. Luckily it was easily fixed. This time around, I had the hunger nausea again, but with an active little boy to take care of, I wasn't able to just sit and eat whenever I wanted. As a result I definitely felt sicker this time around. Thankfully, I am into my second trimester, and the nauseousness has passed. 

General Health

Instead of putting all of this info into separate categories, I figured it could all be lumped together. With Daniel I just felt good. Besides the exhaustion and morning sickness, I loved being pregnant and my body seemed to handle it really well. This time around, I feel good as well, but have noticed a few more aches and pains. I have been having what I think is round ligament pain. It only happens occasionally, but usually makes me stop what I'm doing for a second. 

I also have been having a bit of soreness due to my c-section with Daniel. I truly felt fine after having my c-section and haven't really had any pain at the incision site until now. The further along in my pregnancy, the bigger I grow, the more frequently I feel little pricks of pain. Nothing to be alarmed about, but I think my scar is just figuring out how to stretch out. Coconut oil seems to be working wonders at keeping my skin pliable. 

Finally, I had a lot of migraines this time around. My midwife explained this as being caused by my body trying to make enough blood for me and the baby. She said that because my head is the highest part of my body, it might not be getting as much blood as it needs. Thankfully they have gone away as I have moved into my second trimester. 

Nesting

Oh this is a big difference for me. During my first pregnancy, the urge to nest never became really strong until a few days before Daniel was born. Sure I organized things and did my usual cleaning routine, but it was more out of habit and wanting to be prepared rather than having a feeling. This time around I have had an urge to nest since the beginning. Maybe it's because I know what is coming, having been through the newborn phase once now. Or maybe it's because I feel like our house is WAY more disheveled now than it was before, but either way, my urge is quite strong. 

BUT!!!

Apathy 

Then there is the apathy side of things. Oh darn the feeling of apathy. I never was really able to identify or put words to how I was feeling until Kate from The Small Things Blog wrote this post. While I was reading it, I just kept thinking 'Yes! That's me too!' This is something I didn't really notice with Daniel. But this time around, holy cow. I really have absolutely no motivation. Nesting sounds great and I have tons of mental lists about the things that I want to get accomplished, but man nothing is getting done. I just have no interest in tackling anything. I'm really hoping this passes soon. I do NOT like having my house like this, but at the same time don't feel any need to clean it. Any suggestions for pushing through this and tackling even the daily tasks that need to get done would be greatly appreciated!! 

Overall, I think I feel pretty good with this pregnancy. With Daniel I was beyond ecstatic to finally be pregnant and nothing could get me down. This time, I am beyond ecstatic too, but I think the apathetic feeling has sort of taken over. I know I should be planning, organizing, and getting ready, but something keeps holding me back. 

So, each day I just try to push myself. I motivate myself by making simple lists of things to accomplish each day. I try to make each task easily achievable so as not to feel overwhelmed. If I have a burst of 'hey! let's do this' I try to milk it for all it's worth. Whenever a bad day hits and I just can't seem to make myself do much, I try to rest in God's promises and remember that each day is a new day. Also, who really needs to have a perfectly clean house anyways? :) 

Ahhhh....A Sigh of Relief

Well, I think almost everyone knows. Yesterday we made it Facebook Official *rolls eyes* and announced that we are expecting our second little bundle of joy.

Yes. A second little one! I'm ecstatic, nauseous (thank you first trimester), and ready to get moving on all the things that I want to get done before this little one arrives. It's quite the list, let me tell you.

I still am in awe of the God that I serve. This little one will be born approximately 18 months after Daniel entered the world. Eighteen months. Guys this is crazy to me. I honestly didn't think that God's plans for us would be so overwhelmingly satisfying and abundant (stupid me).

I dreamed of having my own children. I had given over that dream to God letting Him tell me what He wanted for us. I was open to adoption. I was open to fostering. Heck, I was open to any kind of anything that He wanted to give us. I knew that no matter what His plan for us was, that it would be utterly fulfilling and my cup would always be full--if I was willing to embrace it that is.

When we first found out that we were pregnant with Daniel, I remember feeling in shock. Weeks before we got that positive pregnancy test, I had struggled on hand and knee crying out to God asking Him to please just show me a part of His plan. I was broken before Him. I was open, shattered, and willing--but I just needed something to give me direction. And He comforted me. The weeks up to finding out we were pregnant were so satisfying. I remember enjoying every moment with Jonathan. I wasn't worried about getting pregnant, I was instead satiated by the life I was currently living.

And just like that, completely unexpectedly, we were pregnant.

Just for the record, I don't believe that this is because I finally relaxed and my body was able to do it's thing. No. It was because of God. It was His timing. It was His plan. I had truly given over my most vulnerable desires at the time and He knew. 

This time around we weren't really planning anything either. We have been enjoying our little family of three. Things have been a bit chaotic as we go through some big business changes for Jonathan. Having another little one, while not exactly unexpected, was definitely not on our radar.

And then God.

As we start this journey again, I'm entering it much the same way I did last time. I'm completely at peace and excited to experience this pregnancy. I'm excited that Daniel will have a little brother or sister so close in age. I'm excited to make room in our cozy little house for another precious babe. I look forward to seeing my stomach expand and feeling the punches and kicks of new life. I'm looking forward to welcome a winter baby!--something completely different and exciting!

All this to say, I'm so thankful and humbled by this unexpected blessing!

19 Weeks--This Pregnancy Thing is Awesome!

I officially hit 19 weeks today! I'm almost halfway there! This freaks me out a bit as I feel like this is all just flying by! I remember having this huge plan, before I found out we were pregnant. It involved all these projects that I wanted to do once I found out we were expecting. You know--weekly photos, fun crafts to do in preparation for the little one, a whole house organization plan, etc. But now, I'm almost halfway through and I'm realizing that I have done very little of these things I swore I would do. 

You know what, I'm OK with that. Instead, I have been indulging in sleep--because I won't get it later. Enjoying time with my husband and by myself--allowing myself to really let this soak in and enjoy it while I can. I have been finding fun recipes to experiment with--in hopes of having a go to list once the baby arrives. And slowly making a list of things to accomplish before little one gets here--things like making a couple of quilts, crocheting cute baby clothing, and a small list of stuff to organize around the house. 

Other than that, 19 weeks has hit and I'm feeling great! I feel better than I did when I wasn't pregnant! I have a decent amount of energy now--though I do have my moments, hence the extra sleep. My cravings are still there, but are easily managed with a week full of fun recipes to try. I have officially outgrown my pre-pregnancy jeans and now am wandering into the world of maternity jeans (blech!). I find that Old Navy maternity clothes seem to fit the best, but if it were up to me, I would stay in yoga pants and a hoodie all day.

As far as baby goes, I think I have started to feel little bumps and kicks. I'm still not sure, but I don't know what else it would be. They are just so subtle, and sometimes so few and far between, that I doubt if it really is little one moving around. I guess time will tell! Other than that, according to our sonogram on Tuesday, everything is great! Baby's heartbeat is where it needs to be, he is measuring appropriately, and he is breathing, eating, and peeing well! A mom can't complain :)

Now to be as patient as possible as the next 21 weeks go by!

Yum.

Ok.

I'm officially diagnosing myself with some kind of food-obsessed disorder.

I may or may not have watched Julie and Julia three times this weekend--the product of not having cable and this being the only movie we own that is food related.

In my defense I didn't just sit and watch it all three times--it was mostly in the background.

Yea, yea, yea.

I know.

Not a great defense.

Moving on. Back to my food-obsessed disorder.

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Maybe this is what it is like to be a foodie? But isn't that for someone with a sophisticated palate? I'm pretty sure mine is no different than anyone else's. Yet, here I am. My problem seems to be a desire for specific foods and various combinations of flavor. BBQ and red onions. Tomatoes, basil, and balsamic vinaigrette. Pasta, sauce, and cheese. Beef and various herbs. All sound scrumptious and seem to be calling my name.

Last night as I worked on our weekly dinner menu I made sure to incorporate some of these flavors. I cannot wait. This Brussel Sprout Hash looks like a phenomenal breakfast option. I'm planning on making these easy cinnamon rolls for Jonathan. I made them for our Sunday School class this week and his only complaint was he didn't get to eat enough *oh goodness.*

{source}

And just so you understand the depth of my madness, here is our dinner menu for the week:

Monday: BBQ Pulled Pork (we are hosting 15 people for our Bible study group, so they are responsible for the rest of the meal--but let me tell you, they all are wonderful cooks!) 

Tuesday: Homemade Bruschetta and French Onion Soup 

Wednesday: Spinach Lasagna Rolls 

Thursday and Friday: Out for dinner

Saturday: Spicy Black Bean Burgers with Crispy Sweet Potato Fries

Sunday: Homemade BBQ Chicken Pizza


Ok, so maybe it isn't that crazy, but this is just my dinner plans. Oh my stomach is growling in anticipation. I cannot tell you how long I have been having cravings for bruschetta...yum!

Well now that I've made you all hungry, I hope you have a fabulous Monday!

17 Weeks -- An Insatiable Desire For Food

As of February 14th (Happy Valentine's Day!) our little one reached 17 weeks of growth (and I think I may have officially 'popped'--though being my first, who is to know?!). According to my readings, s/he is approximately the size of a sweet potato...the sweet potatoes that are about 5 inches long. Isn't that crazy to think?! Our little sprout is a-growing!

I have been feeling fantastic physically, but I do have my off-days emotionally. Usually these days include me feeling very moody. I tend to alternate between wanting to cry and wanting to lash out at everything that gets in my way. When I look back on those days, I'm very thankful for my patient husband--he always helps me through them.  

My food cravings have been getting worse. I usually want to eat everything I don't have in our fridge/pantry. I'm working on trying to make a weekly menu that offers up a variety of things so that I can pick dinner based on how I feel. Yea, easier said than done :) Pinterest has me drooling on a regular basis and I have been working hard to stretch our budget to include unusual foods (in our house) such as bruschetta, black bean burgers, and pad Thai. Yet, my low-carb limitations have me working hard to limit these bad-bad cravings ;)

Other than my insatiable desire for various foods, the only other change that I have noticed is my constant running nose. Apparently, without getting too graphic, a symptom of pregnancy involves the constant movement of the mucus membranes in my sinuses. This has resulted in a constant need for tissues. Interesting huh? ;) And here I thought it was a cold that I couldn't kick. Oh well, at least I know I'm not sick! 

On Thursday we had a check-up. It was the first time that we were able to hear the baby's heartbeat. That was a really cool experience. I wish we could have listened to it for hours. That quick little chuga-chuga was God's music for a mama's ears. It was all I could do to not grab the nurse's hands and make them keep the monitor on my abdomen all day. Oh to know that our little one is in there thriving away--I have dreamt of that moment forever. God is SO good. 

We also were able to talk to one of the doctors who may be delivering our little one. Dr. M and his wife both work at the practice that we go to--so that sort of excites me. I love the idea of having a married couple meet with us throughout this pregnancy.  We had a decently long conversation about his views on childbirth and what he allows/doesn't allow. I was encouraged to hear that he believes in doing everything as naturally as possible--his view being that a women's body knows what she it's doing. He doesn't do episiotomys-ever, he doesn't believe in C-sections unless completely necessary, and avoids inductions unless the baby seems to be in distress. All huge pluses in our book. He will allow me to go to 42 weeks, as long as things seem alright and the baby isn't too big. Both Jonathan and I were impressed and excited to meet his wife at our next appointment. An answer to prayers. 

We are also excited to share that we had our ultrasound moved up! We were supposed to see our little one again and find out if it's a he/she on March 5th, but due to scheduling issues on their end, we have been able to move up our appointment to Tuesday, February 26th!!! Ahh that is only 10 days away!!! We are ecstatic and can't wait to call our child by name. 

You can expect a post about the nursery next week :) I think we are overdue for a bit of an update and maybe a post, or two, about the ideas I have. Of course they are all based on the baby's gender to some degree. Oh the ideas are plentiful! 

And just for a little something at the end of this VERY long post, a way-too-cute picture of our puppers: 

She was desperate for some more attention...like she doesn't get enough already! ha! 

The Itch

Right around this time of the year, I get an itch. --no not the my-skin-is-so-dry-middle-of-winter itch. But rather one that comes from deep inside. When I see the morning sun filtering in through our windows, I get such an excitement that comes from deep, deep inside.

With the snow coming intermittently and a few other glimpses of spring: a bird chirping on occasion, temperatures that sometimes reach the mid 40's, and a few crocuses making an early appearance, I get an itch.

I don't know what I would call it exactly. Maybe it's the urge to do some spring cleaning. Maybe it's the desire to get out of the house and go on an adventure. Maybe it's the anticipation that has been building up all winter, to tackle our yard this summer.

I don't know exactly what it is, but it's there.

And this time around, I think it may be worse. Worse because my instinct to nest has been crazy!! 

Seriously, it's been pretty ridiculous.

Case in point: yesterday I sat down and started a list that consists of everything I hope to do before the baby comes. It will (when I'm done) be broken down into categories such as "House Things--Carpentry Style" "House Things--Cleaning/Decorating/Rearranging" "Organizing projects" "Crafting Projects" "Adventures with Jonathan" "Misc"

Let me tell you, I'm aware of my craziness and the probability that I have of completing said list.

YET, it felt SO good to write it all down. To get it onto paper. To see before my eyes everything that has been cluttering my mind for a few weeks. It made me even more excited about the arrival of our little one--speaking of which, I owe you guys a post...don't worry...maybe later today. :)

There is going to be a lot happening over the next few months as I prepare our house for the little one's debut. I'm very excited to start tackling projects big and small. And this whole it-feels-like-spring thing is making me even more anxious. Watch out people! Nothing in our house is safe! Yup, there may be some dramatic changes around here!

15 Weeks--Update

As I wait for our breakfast to heat up, I figured y'all might enjoy a bit of an update. Would you like that?

Today I'm about fifteen weeks along and feeling fantastic. Things seem to be going on as usual and I honestly have no complaints. I have most of my energy back, the morning sickness is pretty much gone, and I feel like I can conquer anything--which is good because I have been extremely busy with church related stuff. Let's break things down a bit (sorry, I like to over-share, so be prepared for a long, wordy post :) )

Physical: Well, I'm definitely not showing yet. Though, if you ask me, I can tell a difference in my body. Last week I told Jonathan to feel my stomach and it was the first time that he was able to feel the "baby bump" that is there. We were both pretty excited about that. I want him to be able to experience this as much as possible. I have only regained the 5 lbs that I lost at the beginning of my pregnancy, so I'm feeling pretty good about that. My goal is to be in the best health that I can be as I progress. I have been working out, focusing on staying active in my day-to-day life, and trying to make smart food choices. I really don't want to end up with gestational diabetes--which I'm at a higher risk of getting because I have PCOS.

Food/Cravings: Speaking of trying to make smart choices, food and I have been having a hard time. Last week I bawled my eyes out as I tried to force myself to eat the salad I made for dinner--yes, after I got over myself, I then laughed hysterically. And predictably, all I want to eat is carbs. I have absolutely no desire for sweets, but would happily munch on carbs all day long if I could. I would say that I'm doing a decent job keeping this under control, though. I have been focusing on eating plenty of protein and veggies instead. Even if that means force feeding myself a salad every-once-in-awhile. ;)

Preparations: Well, today Jonathan is planning on gutting our guestroom. We are in full-baby-preparation mode around here (is it possible to nest this early?!) We want to make sure we aren't waiting till the last minute to ready our house for the new little one. As I have mentioned before in previous posts, we are planning on gutting our guestroom and doing a bit of other rearranging so that we have more space for the little one. I'm getting really excited about having another room in our house complete. It will be nice to have a cheery nursery to welcome the baby to. I will definitely keep you updated on the progress! I'm ecstatic!

We have also started accumulating a few things for the baby. Admittedly, this started all the way back during the summer, when our neighbors had a yard sale and were selling a beautiful wooden highchair. We had no idea of the plans that God had for us, but the price was right and we both jumped at the chance. Then later, sometime in November I believe, again before we knew of the little one, my aunt was selling her crib and pack-n-play for a good price. We also bought the both of those. We are thrilled to have a beautiful crib all ready and waiting.

Oh and we also finished off our kitchen counters and purchased a washer and dryer in preparation for all of the little cloth diapers that will need to be washed. I don't like the fact that the washer and dryer is taking over my valuable kitchen space, but I love the fact that I can do laundry whenever I want. Plus, I've learned to use the tops of the washer and dryer for added counter space--this is an unexpected bonus!

Also in anticipation, I have been trying to do as much reading as possible. I have started reading Ina May's Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin and The Pregnancy Book: Month-by-Month, Everything You Need to Know From America's Baby Experts by William Sears. Both have been very interesting reads and I love that I'm gaining an understanding of how my body is preparing for this little one. Our bodies are one amazing machine. 

Other than that, I can't think of much else to say! We are enjoying the anticipation of becoming parents, but also trying to hold on and enjoy every last minute of just the two of us. We have been going on dates (something we didn't really do before), have a week long vacation scheduled for before the little one arrives, and this whole becoming a parent thing has us talking about all sorts of new and fun things. This is definitely a beautifully sweet moment in our lives.