Hey everyone!

I'm back after a nice, long blogging hiatus. I needed to take a break in the worst way. I love blogging, but I needed some space. I was putting way too much pressure on myself to churn out good blog posts and it started becoming unenjoyable. Thus the break.

But I have missed it a lot.

This blog started out as a way to inform our family of all of the updates that we have done (and will do) on our house. I have to say, this little blog is still that, but it has also evolved into so much more. It is my online journal of sorts.

For many, many years I have kept a journal. I have a dozen hand-written journals stashed away in our bedroom. They are a treasured possession. They allow me to look back on what my life was and shed a whole new light on what my life has become. I love to see how I have changed and they help to spotlight those things that I still need to work on.

Over the past, meh, six years or so, I have stopped keeping a handwritten journal and have turned to blogging. In college I kept a blog that was just a smattering of my thoughts, design ideas, an overall mishmash of things. It was also the blog I kept as a newlywed. Then, when we bought this house, I shut that one down and started this blog as a way to chronicle our life as homeowners.

But now this blog has become so much more. It's a way to keep our family informed about our house projects, Daniel, and our day to day life. It also has become very cathartic for me. I love using my blog as a way to focus on the things that God has blessed us with on a daily basis. It allows me to keep things in the right perspective. After all Proverbs 15:15 says, "...a happy heart has a continual feast." This is my way of keeping my heart happy, so to speak.

I have a hard time seeing small blessings at times: A breath of fresh air. A much needed rain shower. Daniel's smile. Curled up, sleeping dogs. All of these things are beautiful and God created--but sometimes I miss them as I focus on the more (or less, depending on how you view it) important things. So, this blog has been a way for me to stay grounded. I'm so thankful for that.

So I plan on continuing to blog, not only to update family, but because it has been such a blessing to me.

I'm excited to get back into it again. Over the next few days I would like to update you on how things are going in our little house. Daniel is eight months old---and that has me completely freaking out and getting excited as I think about plans for his first birthday party! Our house has probably changed a bit (or a lot, for some of you) and I want to show you some current how-it-looks pictures. And, well, I have been changing a lot myself. God has been challenging me in ways I never thought possible and I can't wait to share some of the things I'm learning!

But first, what do you think of the new blog look? I came up with it all by myself. I have been teaching myself how to code a blog and use GIMP. It has come with a steep learning curve, but I have enjoyed learning these new skills. I thought it was about time I learned, as I wasn't really satisfied with any of the looks that pre-made templates offer.

So, look around and let me know what you think! Feedback is always appreciated. And keep looking around for more updates. I'm still working on things. :) See y'all Thursday!

A Conundrum.

I suppose it's time for a bit of an update.

But here is the thing. While I love blogging, I have been feeling a bit torn lately.

I originally started this blog to update family and friends about the renovations that we started doing on our tiny, little fixer-upper. Most of my immediate family lives across the country, my husband's immediate family is flung far and wide, and many of my friends from college/high school are also spread across a couple of countries. It just made sense to have one way for everyone to keep updated on all that we are doing. It was the easy thing to do.

As I continued to blog, I started having dreams of becoming the next YHL blog. I thought it would be so much fun to host a blog about decorating/renovating with a bit of personal stuff thrown in there. I also thought it would be really cool to maybe earn a bit of money off of it. After all, I LOVE writing and  could totally see myself blogging for a living. It would be perfect! So I started working towards that goal. I started posting regularly. I focused on doing projects that I could blog about and making it a point to sort of treat the blog like a job. That lasted for a couple of months.

But lately, I have transitioned to a different mindset. I started realizing, in my personal life, I was having a hard time dealing with blog-envy. I read fifteen or so blogs, on a regular basis, which all made money off of their websites. Soon I was lost in that dangerous world where you think everyone else has a better life than you. You read their posts and hear about their seemingly perfect lives and suddenly you are casting a view of self doubt on yourself. You see all the perfection in their lives and start to magnify all of the negative things in your personal life. You start to think, "If that person has time for all of that, I should be able to do the same!"

Expectations of one's self increase. Everyone else's life starts to look perfect. Self doubt starts to take over. Soon, the expectations you have on yourself are so high that no rational person could ever achieve them! Life becomes full of unrealistic goals and suddenly one becomes consumed with trying to be the perfect wife, friend, mother, daughter, etc. It is such an ugly path that social media seems to induce subtly.

See here is the thing: blogs, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and other forms of social media allow us to portray our lives in any way that we want to. Sometimes the bad comes out, but I would say that 75% of the time, we are bombarded with stuff that portrays a 'my life is better than yours' message. It may not be intentional, but that just seems to be how things work. Let's be honest here. We want the positive (and even the negative!) feedback. We need validation--whether it comes through the number of comments, likes, etc. Feedback, positive or negative, means that someone is paying attention to us. Someone "cares."

I don't want to be part of this. I never want someone to question their self worth or the beautiful life that God has given them, due to my blog posts or my facebook status'. My life is far from perfect. But, I love to focus on the positive in my life and try VERY hard to eliminate the negative thoughts and feelings that creep into my self talk on a daily basis. You can make a decision to let negative self talk consume you, or you can move on and give life to the positive things around you instead.  Abraham Lincoln once said, "We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”

It is all about the perception you have. 

(I prefer to just focus on the top one ;) ) 

Trust me, this is something that is relatively new to me. I still struggle. But since I decided to work on my attitude and focus on the positive, things have completely changed! My relationships with people changed. I started having days filled with the beauty of God's blessings instead of focusing on the things that just seemed to always be going wrong. I realized that every day had blessings, I just had to be ready to embrace them. I went through my blog list and cleaned out those that really weren't encouraging for me. I changed some settings on my facebook so that I'm not receiving every. single. update. for all of my facebook friends. I just recently logged out of my Pinterest account and don't have any plans for signing back in anytime soon. I'm just going to take a break for awhile. I'm just going to try to focus on my life for awhile--looking for the positives and creating the positive.

So anyways, I'm off on a bit of a tangent....What I'm trying to say is that I don't want to be the reason for another's unrealistic expectations. I want my blog to be God-honoring. I don't want it to be a place for me to just show off all of my accomplishments. I want others to gain from it, not feel discouraged by it.

So thus is my conundrum. Where does my desire for blogging fit in to all of this?

I'm just not so sure anymore.

What do you think? I would love some feedback!!! :D

17 Weeks -- An Insatiable Desire For Food

As of February 14th (Happy Valentine's Day!) our little one reached 17 weeks of growth (and I think I may have officially 'popped'--though being my first, who is to know?!). According to my readings, s/he is approximately the size of a sweet potato...the sweet potatoes that are about 5 inches long. Isn't that crazy to think?! Our little sprout is a-growing!

I have been feeling fantastic physically, but I do have my off-days emotionally. Usually these days include me feeling very moody. I tend to alternate between wanting to cry and wanting to lash out at everything that gets in my way. When I look back on those days, I'm very thankful for my patient husband--he always helps me through them.  

My food cravings have been getting worse. I usually want to eat everything I don't have in our fridge/pantry. I'm working on trying to make a weekly menu that offers up a variety of things so that I can pick dinner based on how I feel. Yea, easier said than done :) Pinterest has me drooling on a regular basis and I have been working hard to stretch our budget to include unusual foods (in our house) such as bruschetta, black bean burgers, and pad Thai. Yet, my low-carb limitations have me working hard to limit these bad-bad cravings ;)

Other than my insatiable desire for various foods, the only other change that I have noticed is my constant running nose. Apparently, without getting too graphic, a symptom of pregnancy involves the constant movement of the mucus membranes in my sinuses. This has resulted in a constant need for tissues. Interesting huh? ;) And here I thought it was a cold that I couldn't kick. Oh well, at least I know I'm not sick! 

On Thursday we had a check-up. It was the first time that we were able to hear the baby's heartbeat. That was a really cool experience. I wish we could have listened to it for hours. That quick little chuga-chuga was God's music for a mama's ears. It was all I could do to not grab the nurse's hands and make them keep the monitor on my abdomen all day. Oh to know that our little one is in there thriving away--I have dreamt of that moment forever. God is SO good. 

We also were able to talk to one of the doctors who may be delivering our little one. Dr. M and his wife both work at the practice that we go to--so that sort of excites me. I love the idea of having a married couple meet with us throughout this pregnancy.  We had a decently long conversation about his views on childbirth and what he allows/doesn't allow. I was encouraged to hear that he believes in doing everything as naturally as possible--his view being that a women's body knows what she it's doing. He doesn't do episiotomys-ever, he doesn't believe in C-sections unless completely necessary, and avoids inductions unless the baby seems to be in distress. All huge pluses in our book. He will allow me to go to 42 weeks, as long as things seem alright and the baby isn't too big. Both Jonathan and I were impressed and excited to meet his wife at our next appointment. An answer to prayers. 

We are also excited to share that we had our ultrasound moved up! We were supposed to see our little one again and find out if it's a he/she on March 5th, but due to scheduling issues on their end, we have been able to move up our appointment to Tuesday, February 26th!!! Ahh that is only 10 days away!!! We are ecstatic and can't wait to call our child by name. 

You can expect a post about the nursery next week :) I think we are overdue for a bit of an update and maybe a post, or two, about the ideas I have. Of course they are all based on the baby's gender to some degree. Oh the ideas are plentiful! 

And just for a little something at the end of this VERY long post, a way-too-cute picture of our puppers: 

She was desperate for some more attention...like she doesn't get enough already! ha! 

Oh You Know... :)

Note: I'm in a good, contemplative mood. This post may ramble and be a bit disjointed. I cannot be held responsible.  I blame it on the baby ;)


It's a beautiful morning here in Western NY. The sun is shining. I love when it is bright and cheery in the middle of a cold, cold winter. It reminds me that spring and summer are around the corner. For once, I'm looking forward to summer. Summer = baby, in my mind's eye. And that makes me super excited for summer, even though that means warm, sticky weather. Yes, for once, I'm wishing that winter would go away...it's been here too long already hasn't it? :)

This morning I was thinking about who I am and where God has me in life. I've been contemplating, a lot lately, about who I want to be as a mother. As a parent. Oh goodness, is that a scary thought. To think our child might someday look at me and think I'm "one of those crazy mom's" makes me ecstatic. Let me explain. I want to be the mom that loves with reckless abandon. The mom known for always having baked goods on hand. The mom known for dancing crazily when her favorite song is on the radio. The mom who takes her kids on crazy adventures and doesn't too often say, "Be careful!" I want my children to be able to be themselves. I want them to explore, know the true beauty of God's world, and be able to live everyday knowing that He loves them. I want to be that mom who is unconventional because I allow my kids to make messes, make mistakes, and am able to love them through all of it. Oh goodness...I want that so badly.

One of the many, many reasons why I truly am grateful for my parents is their ability to do this. They have loved all of us kids through EVERYTHING. They didn't let anything hold them back, even when it seemed a bit unconventional. When my youngest brother wanted to pursue his acting career, my dad took him to the audition and my mom moved to LA with him when he made it. People may have questioned their sanity, but my parents didn't care. My parent's relationship may be stretched a bit, by being so far away from each other, but they didn't worry too much--rather they focused on the dreams of my little brother.

When my oldest brother decided to open his own sunglass company, my parents were the first to support him. Last night my dad sent me a picture-text where he proudly was wearing his first pair of Lucid sunglasses and sporting the ever popular Lucid trucker hat. Mind you, he was still in his suit after spending a full day as the CEO of our local bank. On his face was a huge smile--he is SO proud of his son.

When my middle brother decided that he wanted to go to film school in LA, my parents, though hesitant about having him move out on his own, supported him. My mom helped him look for apartments and flew out to LA with him to look around. They helped him narrow down his focus and get into editing school. They have supported him by buying him all the equipment he needs and encouraging him as he does one project after another.

And they also support me. They supported me through college and my sudden decision to go from majoring in business to majoring in human development. They supported me when I met my husband and married him. They also supported us as we bought our first house, a complete fixer-upper, even though there was some questions about OUR sanity ;) And they have both been so excited about our announcement of their first grandchild. They cannot wait.

I want to be like my parents. I want to love my kids no matter what harebrained idea they come up with next. I want to make sure my focus is always on our loving God, my wonderful husband, and our beautiful kids. Nothing else should ever be more important.

Gah!!! I cannot wait till this little one arrives. I'm one happy momma!!! :D

This has been my little "perch" as of late. 

I have been enjoying the natural light that is streaming in the windows on every side and I love the idea of having room to spread out. Plus, when I sit here, I stay away from the TV and tend to focus on other things...a logical bonus.

I have been working on treasurer stuff for church (oh the end of the year wrap up), reorganizing our file system a bit, and trying to catch up on all the magazines that have been piling up. The last one being trivial, but it's something that I have to do--no sense in letting all those free magazines go to waste!

But today, as I sit at the table, my mind has been wandering. I have been watching the snow as it falls and just thinking of the beauty that God has enveloped our bleak world in. Snow can be such a cheerful and beautiful thing. If we allow ourselves to look at it that way. Sure it is also frustrating at times, but I'm sure we can all say we have experienced one of those gorgeous snow falls where the flakes are huge and fluffy and seem to instantly blanket the world in comfort and warmth. Do you know what I mean? I love snuggling up on those days. They are perfect tea and a book opportunities.

Another thing that I can't help but focus on is the lesson that God has been working on within my soul. I am learning what it is like to do everything with a cheerful heart. This is so important. God has been showing me the side of myself that isn't so pretty. It is the side that is riddled with negative thoughts, discouraging words, and a stubborn attitude. It's the side of me that I really don't want my child to ever experience. It's not something I'm very proud of.

Lately, every time I have a negative thought or go to lash out, I am reminded that the little one inside of me is experiencing every emotion right along with me. I don't want my child to grow these first 9 months (or after for that matter) knowing a negative, stubborn, and discouraging mama. Rather, I want her/him to know the light and optimism that I can bring to a situation. I want to be a good example, not a  questionable one.

Mercifully, God has been working on my heart before this little one comes along. He has shown me some areas that I need to work on (this not being the only one). I definitely have room for improvement and I'm glad He has guided me so gently. Today, as I logged on to read one of my favorite blogs, God spoke to my heart and opened it for the lesson He had in store. I began to read the words on my screen when I stumbled upon this:

{from here, or purchase a print here}

"A Cheerful Heart is Good Medicine." SO true. I looked up the verse, just because I love to see what the context is, and I found that there is more to it. The whole verse reads, "A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." Man. Ok God. I get it-- every. day. every. situation.. I have the opportunity to be the healing salve. I can either choose to help the situation/someone or I can just add fuel to the negative fire.. I felt like He was telling me that it is my turn to really work on my heart and be the encouragement that He has called me to be. 

Some areas that I can improve upon:

-When Jonathan comes home and I have had a stressful day, I can put on a smile, welcome him, and be excited for his return. Those hard moments I want to talk about, need to wait. 

-When I'm yelling at the dogs who never seem to stop barking, I can remember that they are just excited and adjust my volume level. Instead of getting unnecessarily frustrated, maybe I can settle them with a soft voice and encouraging words. 

-When I'm in the supermarket checkout line and the cashier starts talking about the hard day he/she has had, I can be a listening and encouraging ear instead of being rude and uncaring. Who knows what their situation is. Everyone can use a listening ear. 

-When put in a position that makes me uncomfortable or leaves my nerves fried, I can try to see the positive side and look for a way to shed some of God's light on the situation. 

-When outright discouraged by events of the day or by someone's rude comment, I can instead know that God's hand is in everything (which He shows me over and over). And instead, smile, knowing that He will take care of it. I have the choice to either let it get to me, or move on and focus on the other positive things surrounding me. 

It is my turn to fix my heart and focus on our Heavenly Father. Like I said, I don't want our child born into a world surrounded by negativity and discouragement. I want to lead by example. I want my child to know what it is to give, serve, live, with a cheerful heart. I want them to always know the choice they have to be God's light or Satan's darkness. I definitely won't be perfect at it, but I'm already starting to see little (and big) ways that I can change. 

Don't Worry!

Everything is OK here.

I promise.

My month long stint away from my blog has nothing to do with something being wrong. Though I'm truly grateful for the concern you all have. :)

I feel special. 

No, my month long break has more to do with me absorbing everything that is going on around me. I'm trying so hard to be completely present in my life.

[source]

Too often, I think we focus on a life that isn't ours. It's the life that we dream up for ourselves, hoping that we will make it there someday. Now, don't get me wrong, it is definitely good to have dreams and aspirations. BUT, and yes...it's a big BUT, it's SO important for us to remember to be content where we are too.

[source]

God puts us in the here and now for a reason. This moment right now is an important stepping stone for the future. Without our current life, we wouldn't be able to get to our future life. God has been showing this to me over and over again.

He has showed me that His timing is beautiful. purposeful. full of intent. 

He never wastes a moment. Every second of every day has meaning...and if we are focusing on the future all the time, we could miss it.

Isn't that a bit much to take in? Isn't that a beautiful thing to think about.

[source]

I know I feel blessed by my month long hiatus...it has helped me to really focus on the true meaning of Christmas. It helped me to regain my perspective. It has helped me to feel more in tune with my daily life.

But I'm definitely ready to get back into the swing of things! I miss journaling our lives. I want to write down every little part, of every single day and never forget the blessings that God daily pours into all of our lives. I miss all of you and your encouraging words! Having a blog has been such a blessing to me.

So, shall we get back at it?

Will you join me?

The Day After/Before

It's the day after Thanksgiving. 

We have so much to be thankful for. 

I will always remember our time spent with unofficial family (love you all!). I will remember delicious food, a rambunctious dog, and a lazy morning spent with my husband. 

But it's the day after Thanksgiving, where chaos ensues in the stores, 

and everything goes back to normal at home. 

Leftovers are to be had--which are, sometimes, even better the second time around. 

I am enjoying my morning view. 

With one lonely light on and a warm cup of coffee, 

I am reflecting on all I have to be thankful for and thinking ahead to preparations for Christmas.

I am also excitedly anticipating the storm that is brewing. 

Our town is under a lake effect snow advisory. 

Heck yes. 

This morning is the calm before the storm. 

Figuratively (Christmas chaos) and literally (lake effect).

Either way, I'm going to grab more coffee, 

a good book (hello Inheritance series, it's so nice to finally meet you), 

and enjoy the fact that my husband is sleeping in. 

I'm enjoying this bit of calm. Are you?

Recent Things...

{source}

A couple of weeks ago, a friend of my brother's passed away. I didn't really know this guy and had only met him a couple of times. But the fact of the matter is, I judged him. I judged him because of his look. I judged him because of the people he surrounded himself with. I looked at this friend of my brother's and shut him out immediately: labeling him as a "bad seed." I refused to see him as a person; as a person that God loved unconditionally.

Here me out. Its not like I was out right rude to him, but I just didn't give him (or any of my brother's friends, for that matter) the time of day. That still is a sin. God, I'm sure, was disgusted by my attitude, "Sure Liz, say you love me, but go on acting as if you are better than them. Are you really sure you understand the reason I died on the cross?"

Since then, I have realized that my brother's have been a better example of Christ than I have. They have shown God's undiscriminating love to so many people. They don't worry about how a person lives or what they participate in, but rather embrace them as friends without question. Their goal is always to show love, never to judge. This is the true message of Christianity--love.

I have a lot to learn from their example.

When I heard of this friends passing, it really hit me. That, combined with the study that we are currently doing in our bible study group, have weaved a deep conviction in my heart that I'm approaching life and Christianity the wrong way.

Our bible study group is reading the book The Prodigal God by Timothy Keller. Keller takes the story of the prodigal son and transforms it into a tale of being the best Christian you can be. He challenges us to see this story as a way to look at people in this world. The "younger brother" types are characterized as irreligious yet, eventually repent of their ways and are accepted into the kingdom. Then their are the "older brother" types who are moralists and view the world through their "superior beliefs." They also refuse to see this as a negative and thus, the story ends with the older brother not repenting of his sins. At the end of the story, we don't know what happens to the older brother. This scared me.

I was definitely a moralist. I still am to some degree, if we are honest. But God is doing a work within my soul. He is showing me that my life should be a light to others. I would hate to be "that Christian" who caused someone else to doubt the reality of salvation. I never want someone to look at me and think, "Wow, if that is what Christianity is, then count me out!" Oh that would be horrible.

Another realization that I had, came with the sermon series our pastor is currently preaching. Man, I really must have needed a reality check, because God was coming at me at every angle. Our pastor has been talking about idols and how they come in ALL forms. It has been a powerful sermon series and has made me realize that I have many idols in my life. Food, having children, and my need to be good at something, are all idols that I have been paying too much attention to. This blog has become an idol of sorts because it feeds my need to bring attention to my decorating skills. For some reason, I have been trying to prove that I'm good enough.

But God says I'm good enough because of my love for Him.

Crud, I have really messed up.

All that being said, I also want this blog to be a light. I want to stop trying to be "the best" and I want to be God's best. I want to make sure that everything I write and post is (as it says in Philippians 4:8) true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, and admirable. These things are what bring light.

Don't worry, I will still be writing a bunch about our house updates, but I will definitely be throwing in  some other topics too. I have a few blogs that I read on a daily basis that are a good example of light and I will focus on using them as my guide. Please check them out: Summer Harms and Whitney Newby. You won't be disappointed!!!

So all of you who have been asking about our house and what is going on, tune in tomorrow! Let's catch up shall we?

It's Beautiful

I can feel God's presence lately. Which is an awesome experience. I feel His love wrapped around me as I go throughout my day. It is reassuring. It is comforting and it reminds me that He is always guiding me and loving me. I know He is always near, but sometimes it is hard to actually feel it. The past few days, it has been undeniable.

It's beautiful. 

I've really been struggling lately with our infertility journey. Honestly, this is a trend. The emotional pain comes and goes, but lately it has been hitting me over and over. Will we ever have our own biological child? Is God calling us to adopt many children who need loving parents? Will we be blessed to help a teenager in crisis, by adopting their child? There are so many questions I have. Obviously only God knows the answers to these. And the pain, while excruciating at times, has taken on a different life. It is riddled with so much hope now. I feel the enthusiasm and excitement at the possibility of the life that God has called Jonathan and I to.

I know that we will adopt no matter what. This is a burden that has been placed on Jonathan and I. Our hearts yearn to love a child who needs a home. Just like God has loved us, we want to show that love to a child.

Unconditionally.

A few weeks ago, I was reading through a bunch of blogs and stumbled across this post. Go read it, yes...I will wait.

After reading the post, I knew in my heart that God was preparing something in me. We will adopt a child with some kind of physical abnormality. I tucked this truth away and have been pondering it ever since. Then I read this post and my heart swelled some more. God is planning something special for Jonathan and I. I too, tucked away this truth and have been dwelling upon it ever since.

With my emotions running high lately, I seem to be trudging through the day longing for our special day. We are anxious. I'm not going to lie. It has been really hard for us to be patient lately. We are ready to be parents. We are ready to love on a child of our own. Being an aunt and uncle is such a special gift, but being able to love on our child every minute of every day would be the biggest gift we could ever experience.

God is working on us. He has been molding our relationship, helping us to focus on Him. He has been showing us the beauty of His love in so many ways lately. I'm excited. I'm waiting with bated breath. My heart is jumping inside of me, anxious for God's plan for us.

And so we wait. 

The waiting game is awful at times, but this time it is filled with anticipation and peace, all at the same time. We are preparing ourselves to receive God's plan with open arms. After all, His ways are perfect.

There is comfort in having the author of all creation guiding our lives. 

There is comfort in knowing that God has our best interests at heart. 

There is peace in knowing that, one day, we will have a child and will be able to raise them to love the Lord God who has blessed us with so much. 

I cannot wait for that day.

{source}

Ok...ok...

First off, sorry it has been sort of quiet around here. It's not that I don't love you guys and wish that I could write post after post after post. But, my heart just hasn't been in it lately and we all know that a post without heart, is like a book cover without a book in it--it is easily ruined and doesn't really serve a point.

(not sure that makes sense....)

Basically what I'm trying to say is I've missed writing, but I have nothing that is interesting to write about.

Here's the deal. The carpenter and I have decided that it is time to put our house projects on a standstill. With the way things are going, we can't really afford to do many projects right now. No, Jonathan's job situation hasn't changed at all and he is still being an amazing provider (thank you my love!), but that being said, money isn't readily available right now.

Over the summer we took too many vacations and it is catching up to us. Time away = no money earned and a lot of money spent. Thus is the life of a self employed carpenter and his wife!! So basically our bank account levels finally caught up with us.

Well, they didn't go up actually...but oh! you know what I mean. 

Thus, the kibosh has been put on all unnecessary house projects until the end of the year.

We have decided to, instead, focus on building our emergency fund. We loosely follow the advice of Dave Ramsey, along with the knowledge both of our families have instilled in us, and therefore are being very careful about the money that we spend. We don't believe that it would be beneficial to get a loan to fix up our house. Debt is a scary thing and Jonathan and I like to avoid it at all costs. Yes, it sort of stinks, but I rather keep my stink-filled house then lose my beautifully fixed up one to the bank. Does it make sense? I don't think I'm speaking another language here. :)

We believe that this is also being a good steward of God's money. After all, it is His and not ours. We want to make sure that we are giving Him the say-so in our spending and not focusing selfishly on our own interests. So, our goal is to have a good cushion in our emergency fund first and then start saving money for house projects. We also are thinking of other ways that we can be using our money for the kingdom of God. We have a sponsored child, but I would love to see us support something else. Maybe that would mean putting money towards an organization or not-for-profit that is spreading the gospel.

So, what does that mean for the blog?

From now until the end of the year, you can expect posts about various low-budget projects. i.e. stuff that costs nothing or very little. I also plan on sharing some other household things with you: my cleaning techniques, menu planning ideas, and maybe a few pinterest-inspired crafts that I have been working on. What do you think? Are you with me?!?!

Cocooning

Winter and fall have always been my favorite seasons. Looking back, I'm surprised that I didn't get married in the middle of either of them. Couldn't you picture a beautiful fall wedding complete with hayrides, pumpkin carving, and all sorts of fall activities?!?! I guess I just wasn't patient enough to wait until then :)

As you know, we have been getting our house ready for winter. In these here parts it is important to ready your house for lake effect snow and the months of cold weather that will soon blanket us all. Since our house has little insulation, single paned windows, and a very old boiler it is important for us to be as efficient about our energy use as possible. Think: good window coverings, door draft guards, and alternative sources of heat. 

Today we will be having an energy audit done. We are hoping that the age of our home and the condition that it's in, will qualify us for a grant of some sort. That would be awesome considering we still need to update at least ten windows, upgrade our boiler, and insulate. Not to mention all the other places that I'm sure "energy" isn't being used efficiently. I'm very curious to see what the auditor says.

In the meantime, I will be cocooning. Yes, cocooning. 

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Last week I received my Garnet Hill magazine. This is the front cover. See in the bottom right corner?

Cocooning is the perfect word to describe what I do during the cold months. Yes. I realize that I'm crazy, but maybe there is someone out there who does the same. Can I get an amen? Someone, please?!

During the cold weather, I love to create a space that is warm, cozy, and comfortable. I drink lots of tea and coffee. Meals are often made in the crock pot or the oven. Our bed has lots of blankets on it and I love when it gets cold enough that I can pull out our big wool one. I'm always making soup and baking bread. I crochet a lot and drink lots of chai. Fall and winter are perfect. I love this time of year!

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I'm always in socks, a scarf, and a hoodie these days. Jonathan loves to make fun of me, but I just absolutely love  it. If you know me, you know that I'm a perpetual-scarf-wearer. My neck gets cold ok? :)

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I can't wait to go on a hayride, carve pumpkins, bake lots of goodies for Thanksgiving and Christmas, and ski. Oh skiing. We haven't been able to go, but once,  the past couple of years, so I'm really hoping that we will make it to the slopes more often this year. 

Lately all of my pins on Pinterest have revolved around new crocheting patterns, yummy warm-weather-recipes, and cozy clothing. It's all I can do to not splurge and buy a bunch of new sweaters, a fun pair high boots, and wool socks.

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Cold weather in Western NY is a beautiful thing. I can't wait for the lake effect snow to roll through.

Are you feeling at all nostalgic about this time of the year? What are your favorite cold weather activities? 

Things You Find Out AFTER Moving In.

*Note: This post may be a bit overly sarcastic and a tad bit exaggerated. At the end, I have topped it with a sprinkle of cheese. You have been warned. ;)

No one tells you that buying a house is like unwrapping a gift.

On the surface, it is a surprise, but you may be very disappointed with what lies beneath.  As you are given the gift, your anticipation builds for what the present is going to be. When you buy a house, you "know" what the present is, but, well, you really have no clue. You proceed, blindly, to unwrap the true gift,  knowing that nothing can be "that bad" and that things will all work out. After all, it is your house, and really that is all that matters. Ha! Oh you sad, sad soul.

As you live in your house you start to realize things. First it's the banging noise that the old hot water tank makes every time you shower. Unphased and still completely in love, you move on. That can be fixed right? Ha!

Then your realize that you live on a really busy road. You were all excited because you thought that "being on the road where the local school bus garage and town garages' are, our road will constantly be plowed during those lake effect snow days!"  But then you realize that this just means when you have your front door open in the summer that there is a lot of noise and that you will be digging out the end of your driveway 100 times a day during the winter. But, yet again, your still unphased--it's good for the arm muscles right?

Again, other things strike you. You walk into someone else's beautiful home and your home's flaws become very apparent. You never realized that flat walls were such a luxury and that double pane windows were to be held in great esteem. You see carpeted floors or stained smooth wood and realize that those floors look clean all the time, unlike your sub floors that your hoping will pass off as hardwood ;) Yet again, you try to focus on the fact that it will all be nice, someday, soon...you're truly hoping.

The final strike is when you realize that it is going to take you years...yes, years to undo the years...yes, years of neglect in your yard. When the weeds are as tall as the bushes and the idea of a garden bed was SO last century, you just sort of say, "Whatever!!!"

As your just about ready to give up, you see a twinkle of hope and redemption and you realize that things are going to be ok! Your husband slowly works on that yard of yours and you can visualize what a flat wall will look like in your home. The windows start to be less bothersome only because you know that they, too, will soon be replaced with beautiful double pane ones.

And those other things like the hot water tank and the amount of road noise, well they are just par for the course. Nothing seems to be too overwhelming when you sit back and think of your children playing in the yard and the future Christmas' to come. It's all just more memories and history. You realize that it is all worth it right now. Your 'someday' is today.

The Real Reason

I have decided to change up the blog a bit!

Why?

Yesterday, our Pastor talked about the "Comparison Trap." His sermon was based on the one given by Andy Stanley. Wow. What a powerful message. To put it simply:  we all compare ourselves to others and it needs to stop! 

Still confused? Check out the video (this is just the intro video, but you can watch the entire sermon on YouTube).

Have you ever been there? I know I have. My comparison trap looks a bit different, because I don't have kids, but it is a trap nonetheless. I always compare myself to those around me. Especially when it comes to this blog, our house, and my current stage of life. I want to make sure that I am 'up to par' with those around me, so I am constantly weighing my life against someone else's.

Andy refers to this battle as the 'Land of ER.'

"If only I were pretti-ER."    "If only I were rich-ER."    "If only I had a nic-ER      fill in the blank       ."

As sinful people, we do this and hope to eventually reach the 'Land of  EST.' 

"I am the pretti-EST"  "I am the rich-EST"  "I have the nic-EST            fill in the blank         ."

It's just such a tangled web to weave and I have submerged myself so deep, in that web, that I am about to strangle myself. I guess that means it is time to get out. :)

Can I get an amen?!

First things first. This blog needs to change a bit. I love blogging, but I have been blogging for the wrong reasons. To be honest, I felt like I had something to prove. I'm a stay-at-home wife and wanted to show everyone that I wasn't just wasting time--as if blogging is somehow a better use of my time. I wanted to prove that I was good at something and valuable in this world. I wanted to bring others into the 'Land of ER' and make them compare themselves to me. This isn't OK.

I wasn't listening. I couldn't hear God telling me that I don't need to prove it to all of you and instead should be proving it all to Him. And you know what the funny thing is?? He already thinks I rock...just check out Psalms 139. Yup...I'm fearfully and wonderfully made. I'm going to start believing that myself.

I am taking this blog to a new place. I want it to glorify God and Him alone. I still want to write about my passions: my husband, family, decorating, renovating, and the puppies. But, I also want every post to first reflect the appreciation and devotion that I have to my Heavenly Father. I'm not perfect, no Christian, or person for that matter, is. But I sure-as-heck can stop comparing myself to others, trying to become perfect.

This mind game is o-v-e-r.

Instead, I think it's about time that I start realizing that I am my ER and EST -- and that is definitely more than enough.


P.S. Check out the updated 'about us' page!

Being A Stay-At-Home Wife

It would seem that a stay-at-home wife has tons of time on her hands. Wouldn't it?

Wouldn't you also assume that her house would be 100% perfect all the time because she actually has the time to clean it and organize every square inch of it?

And wouldn't it be safe to say that she is the most perfect wife in the sense that she is never overwhelmed and always has plenty of time to fulfill all of her husbands desires and wishes--meaning that the laundry is always done by the time he gets home, there is always a hot meal on the table, and she is ready to spend an evening waiting on him hand and foot.

Yea...

Not.

True.

I am a stay-at-home wife and I do have tons of extra time on my hands...but the pressure that is associated with this role is overwhelming and often leaves me paralyzed. I am so overwhelmed by all that I could and should do that I sometimes don't accomplish anything!!!--its a tangled web that I have weaved.

It's funny because I think I put on a pretty good front. I think people assume that I have it all together. My house is usually straightened up when people come over and I am able to do a lot of work for my church because I have the extra time to devote to it! But, this is sooooo not the case. I soooo don't have it together. In fact, it is rather the opposite. I'm usually a second away from going utterly crazy.

Behind the scenes I am frustrated, overwhelmed, and I feel insignificant at times because I'm just a stay-at-home wife. I mean seriously, what do I do that is so important?!

Well, I will tell you what. I'm determined to change this mindset that I have. As a woman, don't we always seem to have such a self-defeating attitude?? Why can't we ever be good enough for ourselves, when we are such a blessing to those around us?! If aren't stay-at-home moms, we want to be. If we don't have a career, we want to have one. If we don't...then we want....

Being a stay-at-home wife isn't really what I had in mind when I started college almost six years ago. I originally started off going for international business. I had high hopes and dreams of taking my family's local business and turning it into a national real estate investment and developing firm! I had huge dreams and knew that someday I would be traveling all over the world via my own private jet.

Well, that is not what God had planned for me.

Little did I know that I would do so bad in accounting (i.e. have NO interest in it) that I would end up changing my major because of it. Sure I got the basic gist of things and I still feel like I could have passed that class if I tried harder, but I really believe that I wasn't meant to go into business. So, I graduated from Messiah with a degree in Human Development and Family Science. This degree was nicknamed the "M-R-S" degree. Yea...I'm the poster child. Nice to meet you.

Life really hasn't turned out exactly as I thought it would six years ago (echm who's does?!). But I'm learning to be ok with it. God has a plan for me. I don't know what it is. But really, yet again, who does? I just hope that mine involves a quiver full of kids ;)

Yup, that one if for you Jonathan! Love you!

All of that to say, I read this post today and it made me realize a few things.

1.) I really need to get my butt into gear--there is so much more that I could and should be doing.

2.) I need to be realistic about what my day to day routine looks like.

The type A personality that consumes me, craves for organization in every area of my life. So, that is what I'm aiming to achieve over the next few months. It is time that I work towards something.

That is why I signed up for a half marathon.

 That is why I am taking my extra time and putting together a slue of healthy-go-to recipes--so I have no excuse to eat poorly.

That is why I am going to kick this whole boarder-line-diabetes and overweight thing in the butt.

That is why I am going to organize our things down to the items that I really do need and not the items that seem to be filling up empty space for no reason.

That is why I am going to work on my poor excuse for a spiritual life.

I believe that God wants our lives to be pretty, but more importantly I think He wants them to be practical and not filled with frivolous clutter. So, my intention is to focus more on Him and rid my life of the things that take away from that focus. I don't want to be perfect, I just want to be intentional.

I am a stay-at-home wife. I don't have children, nor a job, which takes up most of my day. So, I'm going to learn to enjoy this place in my life while I can. I'm going to work on enjoying this place even though I want so badly to be in another. God has a plan. I just need to learn to be patient and learn to enjoy this crazy ride!

It Was Worth It

I've had a reality check this past weekend. I woke up to the fact that I have no idea what I am doing. I don't know how to handle this whole house-always-under-construction thing.

Now I know why Jonathan has been stressed these past five months.

I should bake him a cake and tell him how thankful I am for his abilities as a carpenter. :)

I should also thank him for picking me to be his wife.

Just sayin'.

Moving on.

I have to say that people like John and Sherry and Kevin and Layla, make it look incredibly fun and effortless to redo your entire home. There seems to be an endless supply of money that they can use towards their house and they always seem to have the perfect decorative solutions! They are able to blog about every little project or decision they make and they seem to have endless time to take pictures, edit pictures, and blog their hearts out.

I have that this simply is not reality. They are just really good at blogging about the good things! They just manage to leave out all of the stress and frustrations. I mean really...what sells? Happiness or an impending explosion?

Yea, happiness.

I'm sure that they would be the first to tell you that it isn't all sunshine and flowers (or however that expression goes). I'm sure that if you sat down and picked their brains, they would share with you some horrible decorating decision that they made or the huge argument that they had over a shade of white.

Yes. There is many different shades of white.

Trust me.

Been there, done that.

But I think that they would all arrive at the same conclusion:

In the end, all of the stress and frustration is worth it. 


I just have to say that I hope Jonathan and I feel that way too. I have to be honest, I have my moments of, "Will this ever end?!" and then I have my moments of, "This is the best thing ever and I am so thankful that God has blessed us with this opportunity!!" It's a bit of a roller coaster and I am just hanging on for dear life!


I am starting to accept the fact that my house is never going to meet my high standards. They are just unrealistic. I have always had a way that I want our space to look like. Well, when you are under constant remodeling and demoing, that standard goes out the window.


Our floors are currently subfloors covered with area rugs and every room in our house still needs some kind of work done, but, it's OUR HOUSE.


We have so much work  and will, probably, take the next 10 years (at least) to complete it all. But, it's OUR HOUSE.


I get frustrated with the lack of storage space that I have. But, it's OUR HOUSE.


I become overwhelmed by the gardening that needs to be done and the lack of landscaping the previous owners did. But, it's OUR HOUSE. 


It seems that every time I have a stressful moment, God is there to remind me that it is our house. It is our home and our first house together. We will raise our kids here. We will celebrate future birthdays, Christmases, and Easters in this house. So this weekend, when I was having my reality check of sorts, I was also remembering to cherish what this house is going to mean (and already does mean) to us.

It doesn't matter if the house is clean and perfectly straightened up all the time. Our guests don't care and neither should I.

It doesn't matter if the baseboard in our bedroom still isn't done, it's not like it is affecting my ability to breath! My goodness.

It doesn't matter that our gardens are 100% overgrown and really need some work. They can wait and really, who would expect it all to be done in one nice, sunny day?

Yea, this ol' girl needs to pull back the reigns and relax!

Easier said then done, but I promise, I'm really working on it :)

I think Jonathan should bake me a cake and tell me how thankful he is that I realize my faults.

Oh and thank me for picking him to be my husband.

Yea...we are going to be one cake-filled house around here!

Anyways, I think I'm starting to grow up a bit? Is this the beginning of what adulthood feels like? If so, me and my big girl panties are digging it.

I guess I'm off to un-knot my big-girl-panties, oh and maybe go for a run.



Oh and just because no post is complete without a picture, here are some of Jonathan and I throughout the past five years. My how time does fly.

Next post, will have no references to underwear.

I promise. :)

Monday Consists Of...

laundry.

going over final details for the bridal shower I'm planning. 

lots of crocheting.

small group.

beautiful weather. 

Happy Monday!

The "Woes" Of Moving In

There are things that you don't think about when you are in the midst of moving. I'm as organized as they come and I still didn't have the forethought I needed. Stuff has been misplaced, moved (ha the irony!), and downright lost, as we relocated last Saturday. Suffice it to say, even though I tried my hardest to be overly organized, I don't think I prepared enough.

After all of the dust settled  people left, our house was a disaster zone. I felt like I was in an episode of hoarders. I could barely walk around due to the stacked piles of boxes and furniture. Don't you ever wonder how they manage to make their way through their house, without hurting themselves? In short, I feared for my life.

But, I was sort of ready for that kind of chaos. I knew it would come and I knew that within a couple of weeks, all would be back to normal. I would unpack, find a place for everything, and our house would start looking like a home, rather than a storage unit.

Yet, there were a few things that I wasn't quite prepared for. For instance, I knew that our dogs might go through an adjustment period. I wasn't sure what this would look like, but I assumed it would involve a lot of barking (due to all the dogs in our neighborhood). I also assumed that I would have to re-teach them where to do their bi'ness, where their pens were, and how the sleeping arrangements would work, in our new space.

I just wasn't really prepared for this:

Yea, Harlie was afraid of going up and down the stairs. The first day in our house, I had to take her up the front stairs into our house. She flat out refused to go up the back stairs (the ones we would be using regularly) and pulled on her leash so hard that her collar came off!! She also had to be carried down the stairs from our bedroom, that first morning. Let's just acknowledge here, that she is no small dog and I wasn't about to work this into my morning routine. Half-awake + 60lb dog + stairs = certain death.

Thankfully, she is doing a lot better now; but it took a lot of coaxing to make her realize that she could handle our bedroom stairs--and she still does this weird crawl-like walk down them. As far as the back-entrance stairs go,  we realized that she didn't like that the basement stairs were right beside them. She has a weird fear of basements. So, we just let her come in on her own a few times, and she has gotten the hang of it. Though, she does tend to hug the wall furthest away from the basement stairs. It is quite funny really. Oh golden-doodles.

Another thing that we didn't fully prepare for was the shower situation. We guessed that we would need two shower liners for our tub. Sidenote: The way that you convert a clawfoot tub into a shower is by using a tub-to-shower converter kit. 

You take shower liners and hang them around the entire perimeter, creating a temporary waterproof shower. It works really well and in the end, we can easily convert the shower back to a tub when we add a bathroom, with a real shower, to the second floor.

Anyways, on Saturday evening, after all of our friends left, we ran to Walmart to grab another shower liner for the following morning. I had two shower liners from our apartment, because we had two showers (duh?), but the box with the other one in it became buried during the moving process. So, we figured that it would be less of a hassle to spend $2.50 on a new liner, instead of trying to dig through boxes at ten in the evening.

Long story short, we needed three liners, not two. So, our shower ended up needing a little something else on Sunday morning.

Yep, that's a piece of plastic. And yes, its attached with packaging tape. And yes, we did shower with it like that. What else were we supposed to do? :) It worked wonders for keeping in the water, but I almost slipped and fell twice because of the stupid thing. Needless to say, we dug out the other shower liner Sunday evening. I didn't really want to defy death again.

One last thing,

this is how you apply your makeup when there is no hanging mirror in your house.

I bet you wouldn 't look attractive doing it either. Just sayin'.

Moving on...

In two days we will move. Out of our first place together. Out of the first place that I ever lived in "on my own." Out of the place that we brought our puppy home to. It is the place that will forever hold a special meaning to us. Our first place.

Things are starting to look empty. When I talk on the phone in our apartment, my voice echoes. Just the other day, as I was making spaghetti, I realized that I didn't have any parmesan cheese, because it had already been moved to the new house! We are getting there.

But, this post really isn't going to be one of those where I reminisce about all of the good times I have had in this place. No, I'm not really sad to be leaving. Yes, I will miss this place for the memories and for its amazing architecture. But that is all. Instead I feel more like saying 'good riddance!'

Apartment life isn't for me. Sure, I lived in a dorm in college (all four years) and we have been here for almost two, but I have decided that I really don't like living in a shared space. Those people who live in apartments their entire lives, will forever amaze me, to some degree. I don't know how they do it! Let's just say that I feel like I have paid my dues and I am ready to move on to the next step.

Thankfully, my father was our landlord, so really I had nothing to complain about. I was allowed to pick paint colors, decorate, and even pick out the flooring in our place. Thanks daddy!!! Our apartment is beautiful and I have to say that I will miss the three fireplaces, the nine foot ceilings, and the beautiful ten inch moldings. I will definitely miss having two bathrooms and a gorgeous pantry area, but, I can't help the fact that I can't wait to move on to the next chapter: home ownership and a whole- heck-of-a-lot of responsibility.

I'm probably being a bit naive, but there is something extremely exciting about setting up our first house. In the next two days, as we officially move into our house, I will daydream about how I want to decorate our home. Heck, who am I kidding? I have already thought a lot about it. Let's just say, I'm pretty anxious.

So, as we progress into the weekend, picture me a bundle of anxious nerves attempting to patiently wait for everything to be moved from one place to the next. Also, please have some patience for me. We will be getting internet Monday, so I will, hopefully, be able to start posting again. That way I can give y'all some real time progress pictures and such.

Today, its off to the house with another load of stuff. Then, I need to paint the living room (it still is looking pretty white) and after that a ridiculous amount of cleaning needs to be done. But Saturday is almost here!!!

Here we go!